I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
