READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
