Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
