In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
