She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
