My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
