I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
