just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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