He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
