you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
