I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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