Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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