wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
