Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
