Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
