She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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