Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
