highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
