Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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