At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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