he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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