Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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