Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
