addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
