She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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