and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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