she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did I show you my penis last night?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
