WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
