Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You left your phone here
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