So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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