Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
