Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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