Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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