Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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