I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
