I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
