i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
