Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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