Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
