Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
