I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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