Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
