after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
This toilet bowl is my home.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
