I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
