I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
