Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
