im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
