false alarm. still invincible.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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