OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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