I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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