Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
