oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
