you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
