Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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