Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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