roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
